The Ultimate Collection Of 6. Best Facebook Status Updates For You. Facebook is the voice of people. So most of the times facebook status updates reflects the actual mood of the person. Are you in a lighter mood and ready to have some laughs Sometimes Status update includes referencing friends, groups or even events they are attending for instance, posting Im heading to Starbucks Coffee Company anyone want some coffee. As you type the name of what you would like to reference, a drop down menu will appear that allows you to choose from your list of friends and other connections, including groups, events, applications and Pages. The primary key to the best status updates are creating ones that make people smile. Here are some examples of funny status updates for you. Top 6. 5 Most Funniest Status Updates For You. Im never sure what to do with my eyes when Im at the dentist. Do I close them Do I stare at his face Do I look at the ceilingMonitoringstring 81f1107463d5e188739a27bccd18dab9monitoringstring e515715cc11bfd2d7009dd73cfdbe162monitoringstring 630c2418a1cab4c8f99991b8657516a3. On Wednesday, Facebook announced the rollout of Watch, what it is calling a new platform for shows on Facebook. Its yet another foray by the social media. Get the latest music news, watch video clips from music shows, events, and exclusive performances from your favorite artists. Discover new music on MTV. As long as trolls are still trolling, the Rick will never stop rolling. Texting and Facebook can all too often wreck marriages. Today I want to talk about a letter I received from a woman recently. She writes I love my husband very much. Being a fat person on the Internet opens you up to a lot of hate, as scrolling through the comments section of any YouTubers videos will show you. WhyWhats the proper etiquette here Does liking a sad status update mean Im sympathetic for them or I like that they are sadEveryone has an annoying friend. If you dont have one, its probably you. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep not screaming, like the passengers in his car. What did the ocean say to the other ocean Nothing they just waved. Did you sea what I did there Im shore you did, beach. Opens a pack of gumBam Everyones your best friend. Watch the latest Featured Videos on CBSNews. View more videos on CBS News, featuring the latest indepth coverage from our news team. Gizmodo has a livestream on our Facebook. NASA is streaming the solar eclipse on its Facebook page. CNN is also livestreaming on Facebook. Twitter. Twitter is. We would like to show you a description here but the site wont allow us. Nice food pictures people, please keep it to yourself unless youre planning on taking me along. When people are singing Happy Birthday to me, I have no idea where to look. I get a sense of pride and achievement when my boss catches me actually doing work. Phases of love. 1 xoxo. Im an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. Worrying works 9. I worry about never happen. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize youre wrong. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person. We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity. A little boy asked his father, Daddy, how much does it cost to get married Father replied, I dont know son, Im still paying. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like an accident. Riot.jpg' alt='Watch Shame The Devil Online Facebook' title='Watch Shame The Devil Online Facebook' />People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they dont realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. Isnt your pants zipper supposed to be in the front Hobbes. Cheese milks leap toward immortality. You have a cough Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex Lax, tomorrow youll be afraid to cough. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant Im halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man. I could be eating a slow learner. Hes so optimistic hed buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants. I do not like broccoli. And I havent liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. Watch breaking news videos, viral videos and original video clips on CNN. And Im President of the United States and Im not going to eat any more broccoli. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. My son is now an entrepreneur. Thats what you are called when you dont have a job. A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasnt any Santa Claus, and hes still upset. The longer the title the less important the job. Just rememberif the world didnt suck, wed all fall off. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet We are all either fools or undiscovered geniuses. Some people say If you cant beat them, join them. I say If you cant beat them, beat them, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise. Watch Blind Dating Mediafire. No, Im not feeling violent, Im feeling creative with weapons. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks hes wrong. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. Some people are like Slinkies not really good for anything, but you cant help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish I totally take back all those times I didnt want to nap when I was younger. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you dont need it. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Is it just me, or are 8. Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends withThe real reason women live longer than men because they dont have to live with women. Children You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 1. I would rather try to carry 1. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever. If winning is not everything why do they keep score After Monday and Tuesday even the week says WTF Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are. Women should not have children after 3. Really 3. 5 children are enough. Lite the new way to spell Light, now with 2. I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. Whats wrong with me He said I dont know but your eyesight is perfect. There are no winners in lifeonly survivors. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want We are all part of the ultimate statistic ten out of ten die. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. Without ME, its just AWESO. Complete Collection of 6. Popular Facebook Status Updates. Please Click on the LIKE button bellow in order to unlock the rest of the status updates and feel free to bookmark this page to update a new and interesting status update daily on your wall to keep your friendsfans engaged. If you dont buy a ticket, you cant win the raffle. It is better to be careful beforehand than to try to solve a problem after it has arisen. If you keep your mouth shut, you wont put your foot in it. Do as I saw, and not as I do. A contract is fair as long as both the parties understand and agree to the conditions willingly, after a deal is closed neither side can turn around and say that he was unfairly treated. People tend to repeat mistakes made by others over the generations, not learning from them. No man is so useful to others that people cannot do without him. Learn to walk before you run. However tempted you may be to retaliate, try not to because revenge is a negative pursuit. Learn as much as you can from life. Watch Evil Behind You Putlocker. It is better to teach people how to be independent by teaching them how to do things for themselves than to do everything for them. Live within your income, dont be too ambitious in your plans. The way you dress tells people something about you, and can influence their opinion of you. Those people who have a little knowledge usually talk the most and make the greatest fuss. Every family has a skeleton in the cupboard. Unhappy people seem to like to make others unhappy too. How to Watch Todays Solar Eclipse Live, No Cable Required. Its finally here. The total solar eclipse that hasnt happened in the US since 1. But if you cant see it in person, dont sweat it. Gizmodo has got you covered. The total solar eclipse starts around 1. Pacific time and ends on the east coast around 3pm, with a partial eclipse on either end of that. The eclipse itself will last less than 3 minutes from any vantage point, but even if youre not one of the millions of people expected to flock to the path of totality to view it in person, you can still watch online thanks to this glorious invention called the internet. Below we have livestreams on everything from You. Tube to Facebook to virtual reality. Some of the streams even include a 3. So dont despair. Watching online also allows you to avoid permanent eye damage. Not to mention the fact that it lets you avoid having to be near other humans. You. Tube. There are plenty of different ways to watch the total solar eclipse on You. Tube PBS Newshour has a livestream of the solar eclipse on You. Tube. NBC News has a livestream of the solar eclipse on You. Tube. And CBS News has its own stream of the solar eclipse on You. Tube. Time magazine also has a special 3. You. Tube from Casper, Wyoming that allows you to click and drag. Facebook. Gizmodo has a livestream on our Facebook. NASA is streaming the solar eclipse on its Facebookpage. CNN is also livestreaming on Facebook. Twitter. Twitter is partnering with The Weather Channel to provide a livestream of the solar eclipse. Twitter has live shots from 1. Websites. Virtually every news outlet will also be streaming the solar eclipse on their websites, including NBC News, ABC News, and CBS News. Virtual Reality. CNN also has a virtual reality option that you can find on its website. If you have a VR headset, or even if you dont, there are different ways to watch in virtual reality over at CNN. In Person. And if youre watching live, youve no doubt heard the warnings. But theyre worth repeating. Dont stare at the solar eclipse directly. It will cause permanent damage to your eyes, and its no joke.